Thank your mom — today is her special day
Today is a special day for women. Today is Mother’s Day. Make sure you take time to thank your mom for all she has done for you over the years.
I know I will. For a long time, I was not very close to my mom. Some things happened in my youth that strained our relationship, and I did not see a compelling reason to do anything about it.
Neglecting my relationship with my mom was a big mistake — one that I regret to this day. The reason that I regret it is that my mom is awesome.
When I think about why my mom is great, three words come to mind.
We call her the German
My mom was born and raised in Dresden Germany. She met my Dad in Berlin and came to America with him in the early 1960s. Even though mom spent the rest of her life here, she is still very German. Sie kommt aus Deutschland.
You hear it in her voice, and will notice it in her mannerisms.
Mom speaks her mind when talking with others. This trait is unsettling for some. She expects excellence. Why do something if you don’t plan to be the best. Doing something just because does not make any sense to her.
And she is not physically affectionate. Germans are just not big at hugging.
What I have learned by watching my German mom is to be myself, and not worry about what others think about me. I encourage you to do the same.
Be who you are, not who others think you should be. I know a lot of people who drive themselves crazy trying to please others all the time.
She is tough
My mom has dealt with a lot in her life. Dresden was bombed to the ground during the war and conquered by the Russians. Her family was wealthy before the war, but not so much after Dresden became part of the communist DDR.
Mom went to Berlin to find work and met Dad there. The Berlin wall went up while they were there. As a result, she would not see her family, or her home, for many, many years.
She raised two young boys while Dad served in the Army, deploying to Vietnam for three combat tours. We moved many times before finally settling in the DC area. She dealt with all of these challenges and many more.
I have never heard my mom say, I cannot handle this. Her toughness set a great example for me to follow as I deal with the challenges of life.
She has always been generous
My mom has given me more than I can ever repay.
Both your Uncle Perry and I played multiple sports growing up. Mom drove all over God’s green earth making sure we made it to swim practice, swim meets, and soccer games every weekend.
Dad did a lot of coaching, Mom did a ton of driving.
Also, she has never hesitated to help you boys.
I have not told this story before, but I will now. When your mom and I divorced it cause a lot of financial challenges to me. I was paying a large mortgage, rent for a townhouse, and for a divorce lawyer all at the same time.
I was spending more than I earned and on the road to financial ruin.
I mentioned this challenge to my mom and bemoaned the fact that I had to stop saving money to pay for your college.
Without saying anything, she quietly went upstairs, wrote a check, and then handed it to me. It was enough money to pay for your first year of college.
I told mom that I had no idea when I could pay her back.
She did not want the money back.
She wanted her grandsons to succeed in this world, and that meant going to college. Her generosity inspires me to do the same.
I am in a much better place financially these days and will do my best to help both of you and your families.
Take a moment to reflect today about your mom, and what she means to you. Make sure you express your thanks. I bet she will appreciate it.
I got to grow up with a mother who taught me to believe in me.
— Antonio Villaraigosa
I write a blog for my sons called Doug Keating Letter to Sons. I am sharing content from my blog here. I hope you enjoyed it. All feedback is welcome. Thanks for reading it.
Originally published at www.lettertosons.com on May 14, 2017.